


Planned a Life I'll Never Live

by Tricochet



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Dream Sequences, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 07:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14665814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tricochet/pseuds/Tricochet
Summary: After Winn almost dies and James finds out about Lena's betrayal, they both have something they want to tell the other.





	Planned a Life I'll Never Live

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for some mentions of blood and death. Nothing worse than 3x16. This is sort of a fix-it for Winn and James not confessing their love in 3x16 and the entire events of 3x17.

Winn can feel the blood spilling from his nose. He’s half-conscious of people moving around him and talking to him, but he can’t think of any of them except one.

“Winn!” James almost shouts. He runs next to Winn and grabs his hand. 

“Sir, I wouldn’t recommend touch-” a nurse starts to say. James ignores her. Winn half-opens his eyes.

“Oh, God, Winn,” James says. His eyes have started to swell. “I heard that something happened to you. I…”

“Thanks for coming to visit me,” Winn says. His voice sounds painful even to him. 

“Of course,” James says. His tie is crooked. Winn wonders how panicked he’s been. 

Winn is only half-aware of what he’s talking about, but James is crying. He wants to make James’s tears stop. 

His head tilts back, and the world looks like it’s spinning. He sees through his own eyes, but something is different. He’s in a house. He does a double-take when he sees toys littered across the floor. He wants to get rid of them; maybe his dad somehow found a way to come back in his nightmares.

“Hey,” James says, and he looks a little older. He walks over and gives Winn a kiss. 

“Dad!” a small voice says. “Dad!”

James smiles and rolls his eyes to Winn. The little girl runs up to Winn and lets him pick her up. 

“Daddy, I saw your rocket launch on TV!” she says. Her pigtails shake when she talks. “My teacher was talking about how much of an advancement it is! She’s really impressed!”

A voice cuts through his dream. “Lena, you have to help him!” 

It’s James, but he sounds more strained than the James in his dream. Winn coughs. The little girl fades away. James’s sobs don’t.

He sees James standing by his coffin. “No,” he tries to say, but he just spits more blood. 

Winn fades in and out of consciousness, waking each time with a different train of thought. He could tell James, make sure he knows before it’s too late. But then he’d leave James more miserable for knowing. He can’t.

“Winn, can you hear me? We have the cure. It’s going to work this time, I promise,” James says. Winn opens his eyes. James hasn’t moved. His eyes have gotten more swollen. Winn tries to smile and nod, but he coughs again. 

He feels the medicine immediately. His eyes open, and he feels his temperature drop. The pressure around his body relaxes. 

“Winn!” James says. 

“Ouch,” Winn says. 

“You’re going to be okay. You should rest, though.”

Winn nods. He sees James smile before he drifts off. 

Someone is shouting. Winn tries to go back to sleep. James sighs from across the room. 

Winn sits up when it becomes clear that something’s wrong. He can feel his newly-recovered head pounding. He can’t tell how much time has passed since he got hurt. He stares into space.

“Hey,” James says. 

Winn forces himself to smile. “Hi,” he says in a flat voice. He doesn't know if he wants to know what happened. 

James sits next to him. “I thought you should know - something happened, we found a Worldkiller, but it turns out that Lena was keeping her safe. Using kryptonite.”

“I thought I was going to die, and now...” Winn says. 

“I know, man. I know. We trusted Lena.”

Winn bites his lip and nods.

“I just got off the phone with her. Well, not really the phone. I left her a voicemail telling her it’s over.”

Winn looks up in surprise. “So soon after she just...?”

James shakes his head and sighs. “Yeah. Honestly, I could have dealt with it if she had just been trying to protect her friend. But she lied to me and said she was working on a cure for you when she wasn’t. You’re the most important to me. When I thought you were going to die, I would have done anything to save you.”

Winn blinks slowly. He nods, and he bites his lip to try to hold the tears in. “I remember, while I was lying there, there was so much I wanted to do. I had… I had a whole life planned out, just because I thought I’d never get to live it.” He laughs, but it comes out as more of a grunt. A little bit of leftover blood drips out of his nose. He wipes it with his sleeve. “I was like, ‘if I lived, I’d build nine rockets and save the world and make myself a giant robo-suit’, but now I’m going to live and I just want to sleep.”

James shuts his eyes for a moment. “There’s something else I thought about doing while you were under. This whole deal with Lena made me realize that you’re my number one priority. I need you more than her and more than Clark and more than anyone else. Winn, I love you.”

“Really?” Winn whispers.

“Yeah.”

Winn tries to kiss him, but his head starts pounding and he almost blacks out. James puts his arm around Winn’s waist.

“I was going to tell you. I thought I was going to die without you knowing. That was the real thing that was the top of my bucket list. The saving the world stuff can take a backseat to being with you.” 

James smiles slowly at Winn. “You should get some rest. I’m not going anywhere.”

Winn falls asleep within a minute, James’s arm still around him.

**Author's Note:**

> So, to take a break from this angst-fest, I have a fake-dating fic already written and ready for upload! I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
